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All About Austin
Our adoption journey was not exactly what we expected. Like many
people, we felt the waiting period was going to be the hardest part.
After completing training, we waited close to seven months before we met
our son. Little did we know the journey was just beginning!
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He was seven at the time and had been in foster care for four years. His social worker was looking for a therapeutically trained foster-to-adopt home with a stay at home mom and no other children. We fit the bill and were chosen to meet Austin. |
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..than it did for most of the families we knew from training and support group. Austin’s social worker wanted to proceed with caution, as Austin had been moved several times and the Department of Social Services (DSS) wanted to be certain this would be his forever home. This was the first time we realized how blessed we were to work with UMFS. Our worker, Sellina, kept the ball rolling. She was on the phone, sending e-mails, and collaborating with the DSS to make Austin’s transition as smooth as possible. She listened when we called with questions and concerns. Later, when we got Austin’s psychological evaluation, Sellina was available to help us sort through the difficult and confusing documentation and process our emotions and fears. |
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...the TREATMENT FOSTER CARE (TFC)-to-adopt program in January 2005. Our case fell into the capable hands of Doug, a new case manager with UMFS. Within several weeks, the “honeymoon” period ended. This sweet, quiet, loving little boy began throwing tantrums, breaking things, and clapping his hands over his ears and screaming “I’m not listening!” when I tried to talk to him. He began to pick fights nightly over ridiculous things. Within a month I was a wreck and knew I needed outside support. So we attended every support group, and took advantage of respite. |
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Doug even drove out to our house in the middle of a snowstorm to talk me through a crisis. Little by little, things began improving. As my relationship with Austin improved,
he moved on to testing my husband. We decided to seek the help of an
attachment therapist, who began seeing us as a family. The focus of
therapy was teaching Austin how a healthy family interacts.
We have watched Austin amazingly transform from a child who trashed his
entire room and tantrumed nightly to one who tantrums every few weeks.
He looks us in the eyes, and accepts hugs, kisses and backrubs from us,
something he never did before. He’s begun to share his fears, hopes,
dreams, and things about his past he’d never before discussed. From the
beginning, Austin has called us “mom” and “dad” and told us he loves us.
But there’s a difference now. I see it in his attitude and behavior.
Not only does he say these things now, he believes them. We’ve gotten so
much from UMFS and now I’m enjoying giving back. I have spoken on the
Parent Panel at the Resource Family training classes twice, and I plan
to become a Parent Trainer. I’ll be working with the very same UMFS
trainer who taught me two years ago what the words “unconditional love”
would really require!
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